Unfortunately, the truth of the matter about the past few weeks of coding for myself has been surrounded by the theme: stagnation. This has been a theme in my life at various times, which is usually preceded by life events that sort of knock the literal air out of you. I wrote a personal post a while back that sort of gave some perspective from my standpoint, but also the view of my family as a whole.
If you have any interest in that read, then here is a link to that blog post.
Regardless of my mental state, I have still found myself thinking about code. I watch countless videos on the lives of web developers and how they go about their own personal day for work, managing projects, and managing their personal life. There are times that I find myself watching live coding sessions of people building projects in languages that I have some familiarity, but I feel like my progress has all but halted over the past few weeks.
When I look at my current project I see portions that are familiar, and I have zero issues building the databases and navigating the command line. However, I still feel inadequate in my ability to build functions and sort of dwell on my lack of knowledge or depth of knowledge to solve various issues. There is a psychological term that is used commonly for software developers (and other professions) when they do not feel adequate with their abilities, which is referred to as the impostor syndrome.
Honestly, I am not even sure I am to the point of web developing that even warrants this perspective, but I definitely find myself questioning my ability to write accurate, purpose-driven code that would eventually warrant a position at a company one day. The crazy thing is that I have already been offered various side work on multiple occasions, and I have turned down that work because I am not sure I could complete the task they might ask for me to perform. So, I am in this weird paradigm where I really love coding and see the immediate benefits of learning these skills but lack the initiative and confidence to reap those benefits.
So, to combat this feeling I am going to need to challenge myself to be assertive in my passion, use the rubber-ducking learning technique, and grind. There is a lot on the line for me to be successful in this industry. There are people that are very important to me that are counting on my success, which adds a bit of stress, but ultimately those rewards are worth the struggle. The people are worth the struggle.
The people are worth the struggle.
I know this post was not very informative about the actual field of software development, but I hope you found it to be an honest interpretation of what I go through, and possibly many other coders go through during their coding adventure.
Till next time!
PS I have decided to upload these posts on my Medium page too. The reason is to connect with other students from The Firehose Project.